My Cyber Counsellor: Your Partner in Mental Health

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What Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is more than feeling shy. It’s when social situations—like talking to classmates, ordering food, joining a group, or being called on in class—cause strong worry or fear. Children and teens may worry about being judged, embarrassed, or making mistakes.

Common Signs:

• Avoiding social or school activities
   
• Fear of talking to peers or adults
   
• Physical symptoms (racing heart, shaking, stomach aches)
   
• Overthinking after interactions (“Did I say something weird?”)
   
• Wanting reassurance often
   
• Difficulty making or keeping friends
   

Why It Happens:
Social anxiety often starts when children and youth feel unsure of themselves, worry about being judged, or struggle with confidence. With support and practice, things can improve—social anxiety is highly treatable.

• Box Breathing (4-4-4-4): Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4.
   
• Brave Thinking: Replace “Everyone will laugh at me” with “I can try my best, even if I feel nervous.”
   
• Small Steps Exposure: Choose one small challenge a week (e.g., say “hi” to someone, answer one question in class).
   
• Confidence Log: Write down one thing they did well each day—big or small.
   
• Role-playing: Practice short conversations at home safely and comfortably.

• Validate feelings: “I know this feels hard. I’m proud of you for trying.”
   
• Avoid rescuing in every situation—encourage small steps forward.
   
• Model confidence: Show your child how you handle nerves or mistakes calmly.
   
• Create gentle practice opportunities (ordering food, saying hi to a neighbor, joining activities).
   
• Celebrate effort, not perfection.

• Keep routines predictable but flexible.
   
• Reduce pressure by focusing on progress, not outcomes.
   
• Ask curiosity questions: “What part felt hardest? What helped even a little?”
   
• Use calm-down tools together (breathing, walks, grounding exercises).

• The “Brave List”: Create a list of 10 small brave actions and check them off weekly.
   
• Social Skills Practice: Short chats with family, trusted peers, or familiar adults.
   
• Celebration Jar: Write a note for every brave moment and review it monthly.
   
• Emotion Role-Play: Practice responses to common scenarios (answering questions, introducing yourself, saying “no”).
   
• Success Visualization: Youth imagine themselves completing a social challenge confidently.

• Anxiety Canada Youth & Parent Tools
  (Has worksheets, exposure tools, and videos)

                   https://www.anxietycanada.com/

• Child Mind Institute
  Articles for parents about anxiety, confidence, and school stress.
  https://childmind.org/

•  MindShift CBT (youth-friendly CBT app) 
•  Headspace for Kids/Teens 

 If social anxiety is affecting:
✔ school attendance
✔ friendships
✔ confidence
✔ family routines
✔ participation in activities
✔ sleep, appetite, or daily functioning

…it may be time to reach out for professional support. Early help can prevent the anxiety from growing stronger.